I'm so pissed off with you right now!

This is to let you know how fucking annoying and disgusting you are.  Just fuck off from my life because I don't need your fake face and attitude.  Stop pretending and acting because you are so fucking ugly and disgusting.

坚强

今天以后，

我会更加坚强，

更加爱自己。

夏天热辣辣

这些日子，马来西亚热得让人着火。刚从英国回来的我，真是他妈的快没命了。气候的转变加上时差，让我忍不住有立刻订机票飞回英国的冲动。感觉在英国堆积九个月的汗水，一次过通通流完了。躺着坐着站着都会流汗，不需要运动也可以减肥。脾气也变得很暴躁，整个人好烦啊！今天晚上，全砂劳越竟然没电！好热好难熬。等了七个小时才恢复电源。我只能在烛光下假浪漫地弹奏乌克丽丽。电源真的很重要！停电过后才知道原来生活中有那么多重要但却不被珍惜的东西。

明天，一年一度的婆罗洲文化节开幕了。时间真的过得好快。和朋友约好明天一起去筹热闹，希望大家都玩得开心。最近朋友知道我烦恼很多，所以一回到诗巫，这帮朋友每天都会约我出去玩，希望我不要在家胡思乱想。我真的很感动。星期一就要开始实习了，很兴奋，很期待。为了让自己更忙一些，都尽量把时间填满，做一些事情让时间过得快一点。计划这个假期学车，还收了一些学生当起了家教。我开始计划明年的行程了。不想再当个虚度光阴的人。我想当个女强人！我想成功，我不喜欢输！大家一起加油吧！

时光飞逝如电

不知不觉，我已经完成了大学一年级。拿到成绩的那一刻是兴奋的，是感激的。兴奋的是终于顺利完成了六分之一的求学路程，感激的是在这一段日子里陪伴过我，帮助过我的人。回想起来，真的觉得自己很幸运。老天爷好像特别厚爱我似的，总是在我不同的生命阶段里，穿插不同的人事物，仿佛告诉着我，一切事情都安排好了，走下去就对了。就好像翻着故事书，一页一页地期待接下来会发生什么事。这一年里，或许是课业不怎么繁重的关系，有太多多余的时间，所以变得特别转牛角尖。但我相信，大学二年级会让我忙得不可开交，这些小问题自然会迎刃而解。

有人问我，你到底喜欢什么？什么事可以让你开心？
这两个问题，我想了很久，但我还是回答不出。我到底喜欢做什么？而做什么事又会让我开心呢？我自己也不知道。我认为，若要我指名道姓地指出我喜欢的东西，我的答案会是没有。如果一个人知道自己快乐的来源，世上就不会有那么多烦恼的人。又或许可以这么说。人往往觉得，得到自己所没拥有的东西才会使得自己快乐，所以很多人在追求快乐的时候，都经历了压力，烦恼和痛苦。而很多人就在这过程中改变，有好有坏。当他们真正得到了自己想要的东西，才发现原来为了得到那么一瞬间的快乐，是需要付出那么多苦和悲。

开心是一种感觉，是当你在做某件事或和某些人在一起时产生的莫名化学效应，生理和心理的感觉是放松且愉快的。你享受着，并希望那种感觉一直都存在。但是人生里，完美的事太少了，所以快乐变成了短暂的。

生活真的很奇妙。 在曼城呆了快整整九个月的时间，我觉得这段期间自己又长大了。虽然这一年里过得不是很充分，但就当作是自己给自己辛苦了七年放了个长假。有时候觉得自己很渺小，想要帮助别人，但心有余而力不足。在曼城所遇到的人，真的和在家乡遇到的人很不一样。每个人都有自己的文化，自己的问题，自己不为人知的背景。有些人有钱得不知道该往哪里花，有些人却穷得三餐都搞不定。有些人有着强烈的斗志，有些人却敷衍过日子。但日子一天一天地过去，因为缺了样东西，所有的人好像都在原地踏步。这就是现实的残酷。

最近常花时间健身，去游泳池游泳。我终于学会蛙式了！我还记得那一天在游泳池见到了那位没有右手的救生员，那一刻我告诉自己，他都做到了，我到底在害怕什么。其实游泳并不难，困难的是克服心里的障碍。原来人的心脏是很强壮的。因为过后，我又尝试了我一直都不敢尝试的云霄飞车。我还想做很多事，因为年轻不要留白！

好了，是时候收拾行李准备回家了。再过3天我就要飞回马来西亚了。三个月的暑假，我会好好珍惜的！希望一切美好！大家都要加油哦！！

平衡点

最近老是觉得有股气闷在心里，说不上是什么感觉。就是莫名的忧伤，感叹。 其实心里有太多不开心的事，很多不如意的事，想找个人聊聊，却找不到适当的人。常常会觉得，解释就是掩饰，所以很多时候都会选择保持沉默。但是，被冤枉的感觉更不好受。很多时候会想究竟自己的问题出在哪，应该怎么做才是对的？

上天是公平的，因为每个人都有一样自己想要却得不到的东西。这是我很久以前在脸书上发过的一则状态。其实我很幸运。我承认自己拥有的比很多人还要多，还要好。很多人都很羡慕我的生活，我的家庭，我的学历，不愁吃不愁穿，不需要打工也有钱花。回想起自己一路走来，经历过不少事情，见过不少人事物。不算很辛苦，但是很多事情，让我渐渐对周遭的人失去了信心，感觉每个人都戴着面具过生活。我真的不喜欢，因为面对不真诚的人，感觉自己也变得特别的虚假。我真的很想坦坦白白，真真实实地做我自己。开心的自己。

慢慢发现其实问题出在自己一直找不到属于自己的平衡点。往往会因为太专注于一件事，而忽略了其它相等于重要的事。亲情，友情，爱情，金钱，地位和健康，其实是不应该被排行的。它们都是平等的，没有高低之分。但我会因为害怕失去，而太过于在乎。但太在乎往往让自己遍体鳞伤。很多事，顺其自然就好。不需要强求。因为是你的就是你的，走不掉。我会有现在这种不开心的感觉，是因为我太自私了。究竟如何才能达到平衡点，我还在摸索着。

我期待这个星期五的到来，因为这一天会是解开藏在我心里很久的疑问的一天。它或许会是这场战争平息的时候，又或许会是另一场暴风雨到来的前奏。现在的我很害怕。

Try

Fall in love with this.

Such a romantic song =)

If i walk, would you run?
If i stop, would you come?
If i say you're the one, would you believe me?
If i ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song, would you sing along?
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful.
Am i catching up to you?
While your running away to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me 

多梦

最近一躺着睡觉，

我就会不停地发梦。

今天下午做了个很奇怪的梦，

离谱却又真实。

从睡梦中惊醒，

我立刻给爸爸发了条信息。

那种忐忑不安的心情，

让我忍不住在被单里哭泣。

也许压抑得太久了，

好一段时间没让自己好好地解放了，

才发现原来哭，

是件多么舒服的事。

我疯了

宁愿自己可以忙得不可开交，

也不想把时间花在思考和焦虑。

成長、改變， 成長、再改變

人是很奇怪的動物，

每個人都是獨立個體，

但是又會互相影響，

然後在不知不覺中成長、改變，成長、再改變。

但每個人改變的方向都不同，

走的路也不一樣。

有人會選擇積極向上、發憤圖強，

有人會選擇開開心心、馬虎虎就行。

以前熟悉的好朋友，

到了今天會變成一個你曾經熟悉的陌生人。

人會改變，

整個世界正在變化，

但是難道要接受人會改變就不再去執著他原本是一個怎麼樣的人，

如果連我們也放棄去堅持去關心，

那我們將來怎麼樣對下一代說怎麼樣去面對這個每一秒都在改變的世界？

人很奇怪，

始終都要無可奈何地去接受改變這個事實。

失

今天，
我失去了一个朋友。

友谊薄如纸，
一搓就破。

下雪了

今天曼切斯特终于下雪了，
可是我一点都不开心。  

现在的我真的找不到快乐的理由。

我只希望时间可以过得快一点，
自己可以忙一点。

好好听的一首歌。
希望明天可以过得很顺利。

圣诞节乐乐！

今天是圣诞节，

每一年的圣诞都会在教堂度过，

今年却只能一个人呆在房间里。
曼切斯特在圣诞前夕特别热闹，

圣诞节时却冷冷清清。
明天的boxing day,
应该会很疯狂！

被WC恶搞

还记得小时候特别期待圣诞节，

因为书包里面一定会有礼物。

哈哈，长大了，不同了。

今天是二姐生日，

祝姐姐生日快乐，

永远开心，健康，平安。

假装艺术

冬至快乐

冬至又来咯。
每一年都会帮爸爸搓汤圆，

可是今年不同了。

身在国外，
没有好吃的汤圆，

没有家的温暖，

今年的冬至，

我一个人过。

特别想家 =(

预言中的世界末日，

最终成了最大的笑话。

刚刚看完巴不得妈妈，

大结局也是12月21日，

好巧哦。^^

看完的心得是，

我更爱罗仲谦了！

今晚有朋从伦敦来,

我的作文到底什么时候才要开始？ T^T

希望我这个路痴可以当一次成功的导游。

还是祝大家冬至快乐，

多关心身边的人，

因为错过了就错过了。

好开心

今天遇到了很多好心人，

好开心！

城市趴趴走

今天去了市中心，

真的是超级超级的多人啊~~~

圣诞节快到了，

大家都很兴奋， 也很期待。

到处都可以看到华丽的圣诞装饰。

好大的礼物哦。

即将来临的圣诞节，我会有一份大礼哦！  好期待！

我， 一如往常地去了我最爱的超市-ALDI！  

TADAAA， 就是它！

我最爱的超市， 万岁！

好的，我有够无聊，来灌水罢了！

煮了冰糖红枣水，再也不怕冻冻的冷天！

呼，现在的我sio sio~

=)

我该怎么办

现在的我真的很郁闷。  上了大学，烦恼的事完全不同了。  以前烦恼功课赶不上，课业不明白，考试不理想。  那是学生的烦恼。  现在上了大学，一个礼拜只有三天课，没错，是很轻松。  每天可以睡到自然醒。  没有课本，没有测验。  不需要烦恼书念了没，笔记复习了没，功课做了没。  但也渐渐开始烦恼，自己的价值到底有多少？

上了大学才发现有很多事情都没认真的做好，想学很多东西，想掌握很多技巧，想比别人略胜一筹，想尝试很多自己认为不可能做到的事。  但有时候真的害怕自己拼过头，反而是件坏事。  毕竟我比其他人多浪费了两年时间。  真的很想爬得比别人高，跑得比别人快。  真的很想让时光倒流，把那些错过和失去的东西补足。 

今天下午参观了学长的展廊会，见到了很多社会人物。  那是个成人的场合，没有儿戏，很正派，很壮观，也让我很恐惧。  想到数年后，我也得和他们一样，我真的很害怕。  我害怕交际，害怕步入社会，害怕以后的日子。

这段日子，group work让我很头痛。  我真的很希望大家可以团结把事情做好，也希望队长不要再那么固执了。  不耐烦和满口粗话是解决不了问题的。  真的很希望所有的不愉快可以快快过去，就这么简单，可以吗？

p/s  曼切斯特开始入冬了。  今天疯狂地在摄氏零度下摄影。  冻死我了。

谢谢我的同伴-卡特，我想她也冻坏了。

气象报告说过几天会开始下雪了。  生命中的第一场雪，会是怎样的呢？ =)  

一个人

我喜欢一个人

一个人吃饭

一个人睡觉

一个人逛街

一个人窝在房间

一个人看戏

一个人唱歌

一个人狂笑

一个人画画

一个人做模型

一个人打扫房间

一个人发癫

一个人做很多很多自己喜欢做的事情

我喜欢一个人

因为没有人比自己更疼爱自己 =D

Great things are simple!

What is the best thing in life?  A survey suggested that finding £10 in an old pair of jeans emerged as one of the life's greatest good mood triggers.  Yeah.  Many times, it's the simplest thing in life that means the most to us.

But too often, we are too busy and focused on what we have to do each day, and we are missing all the miracles along the way.  We get stressed out when shit happens.  We often complain when things do not run smoothly as we wish.  We get intimidated by people when they are smarter and more powerful than we are.

However, life is too short for us to magnify the negative part of our life.   We have to number our days, and live life to the fullest like everyday is our last day.  We have to slow down our pace and take time to smell the roses.   We have to appreciate the people and personalities in our life.  We don't have to take an expensive vacation to make a memory because it doesn't need a lot of money to have fun.  Wealth can't buy us happiness.  It's always the simple thing that we remember the most. 

Therefore,

life is great

when I have a cup of hot tea.

when I do a random sketch.

when I read a good story book.

when I hear a song that reminds me of my past.

when I hear the sound of rain.

when I try out a new recipe.

when I browse through my old pictures.

when I sleep like a baby.

when I don't have to wake up early.

when my hair looks good after I wake up.

when I get the right camera setting.

when the fresh laundry smells good. 

when I hang out with friends.

when someone compliments me.

when I meet a friendly cashier.

when a lame joke cracks me up.

when a kid holds my hand tight.

and bla bla bla ~~~

 Wohoo, great things are simple, and simple things are great!  =D

I'm sick

Daddy knows I'm weak, so he prepared a lot of medicines for me before I came to Manchester.  And in two months time, I finished my panadols.  How great I am.  Just took some paracetamols and a flu tablet.  Please recover soon, I need a healthy body to keep working.  =(  Will be going to UMIST tomorrow for our new project.  Hope that everything goes smoothly.  Rain and wind, please go away.  I don't need you right now.  sob*  My head is cracking, my eyes are sore, my neck is stiff, my whole body is in pain.  I need a rest.  Goodnight everybody.

First Hi from Manchester!

Aloha!  It's blogging time again!  After the submission of portfolio, I'm finally free free freeeee!  So in this post, I will try my best to update my current status and share my life in Manchester with you all!

People always ask me about the life in Manchester.  And my answer will always be, oh, Manchester is such a boring place!  Actually, it is not that bad.  I'm just exaggerating the situation because to me, studying oversea is not an easy task.  You need to be physically and mentally strong to withstand the extreme weather  change(ok, lame) and to live without your family(which means you have to cook, wash, clean and buy everything yourself).  Therefore, you can hardly survive without friends.  Luckily, I'm not alone here.  I have two big brothers that always help me and guide me when everything gets mess up.    ^.^v  Manchester is treating me good, compared to the time I first entered INTEC.  That was really horrible.  I was so emotional and took so long to cope with the life in Shah Alam.  So glad that I don't have the problem here in Manchester.  Touch wood.

The two big brothers - Haseef and Raden!

And thanks to our senior, Hakym, and many other seniors as well (too many to be mentioned) who helped us a lot, really a lot, when we first reached here.  So glad to have you all in Manchester.  =)  We, the freshers, really appreciate it.

This is for you, Hakym.  Haha!

I'm now living in a private hall, named Manchester Student Village, which is located very very near to my studio.  =)  Sharing kitchen, bathroom and toilet with another Singaporean girl, I'm pretty happy with the accommodation!  It's a room with big space and a big double bed, and my own working table, like a boss!  I am not going to post the pictures of my flat, because I have to spend time tidying up everything before I can take a snapshot on them.  Hehe, further details, please google search. =P

You can find different kinds of people here.  Black, White, Asians.  It's really fun to spend some time walking on the street because you can see lots of things happening in the city.  Manchester is having its Autumn now, so it's really cold and windy out there.  A cup of hot tea inside the warm room can just make your day.  (Having self-made teh tarik right now, hehe).  Can't imagine how people survive during Winter.  One more thing, Manchester rains a lot.  More and more rain is falling on the city each year.  It rains almost everyday.  But, the rain here is totally different from what you can see in Malaysia.  In Malaysia, you can't walk under the rain without umbrella because the raindrops are so freaking big.  In Manchester, umbrella is not a useful stuff, because you will get yourself blown away by the strong wind because of your huge but useless umbrella.  People just walk under the rain in their jacket, and you don't get wet!  But the wind can kill you anytime if you are too skinny and light.  No joke.

This is The University of Manchester, and people call it tin can.

I'm under two universities, University of Manchester(UoM) and Manchester Metropoliton University(MMU).  Ask me why?  I don't know~  Because I'm an architecture student.  This school is weird.  This course is weird.  Everything is weird.

A day exploring the city centre.  I love this picture, because we look happy.  Credits to Raden!

Please take a look at my photo album in Facebook named "Go Go Manchester".  There are some nice buildings you can find in Manchester.  =)  If you want to know more about Manchester, you are welcomed to visit this place!  But I can't be your tour guide because I'm utterly poor in direction and may get lost anytime.  Ahaha

For our first year, we had a field trip to Berlin, Germany!  Woohoo, that's the fun part of being an architecture student!  =D  Berlin is bloody AWESOME!  It's my first time travelling without tour guide, exploring the whole city with just a piece of map.  It was an extremely good experience.  Most of the Germans in Berlin City can speak good English.  You don't need to worry about getting lost in the place because they are very happy to guide you.

Love the clouds.  Took this in front of Reichstag, one of the most historic landmarks in Berlin designed by Sir Norman Foster.

This is the glass dome.  We walked all the way to the top of the dome via the spiral walkway.  You can see the whole Berlin city from the dome.  =)

Lots of nice Berlin pictures can be found in my Facebook, the photo album named "Go Go Berlin".  Won't mention much about Berlin, it will take me days to do that.  In a nutshell, I strongly recommend you to take a visit to this place.  It is GREAT!  Mmm, I love Germany!

Apart from that, a site visit to St. Ambrose Barlow RC High School was organized by my school.  It was the first site visit we had for our course.  Our task is to design a tessellated installation to be installed at the entrance space of the new high school.  I had a bad day travelling to the site by train.  Manchester should have improved its public transports system.  Because of the poor system, I was late for my site visit, waiting for hours at the train station. T_T  Luckily, I got to joined other groups and managed to enter the building.

 Briefing from the tutor about the site.

The future architects.

The high school was still under construction.

The project took around one month and guess what?  My design was selected as the top 6 for the competition!  I'm really happy and proud of myself because a month of hard work finally paid off =) (even though the group work did give me a big headache).  Presenting in front of the school officers and architects was a precious experience to me.  This project gave me lots of confidence in my study.  Praying hard that  my next project won't give me sleepless nights again.  I need a normal life.  =S

I'm no longer a teenager!  I'm 20!  But I'm so childish!  -,-  Had my first birthday celebration in Manchester with the two buddies.  They baked me a cake!  How sweet they are!

A very cute birthday cake.  "HB BABY J"  Funny.

Thank you for the buffet!  And thank you Salamah for joining the dinner!  I love you all!  =)

Received a parcel from home yesterday.  A parcel full of love.  I miss home.  =(  When can I go back?  I miss your food, daddy!  Hope that everyone in Malaysia is doing good.  Addicted to eBay recently.  I need to control myself.  Learning how to cook good food too recently.  I'll try to make a post on that one day.  Stay tuned!  Okay, I guess I have to go now.  See you all next time! xx

p/s  My hair is long now.  Yeayyyy  But my severe hair fall is giving me headache.  Bought a new shampoo yesterday, hope it works.

Ah Fei Steamboat!

Home Sweet Home! 

After the BTN and Singapore trip, I'm finally back in Sibu!

Steamboat right after the flight with my parents, PEACE! (^.^)v

Boo Boo

WeiChong as my Sifu.

First time driving,

like a boss.

MUAHAHA

端午节不寂寞

今年的端午节，

为了应付考试，

没能回家庆祝。

但是还是吃到了烧烧的粽子，

哇哈哈！

谢谢你，林易洁！

我喜欢 （不，我爱）

今天，

听到电脑里的一首旧歌，

特别有感觉。

轻快的节奏，

简单的吉他配乐，

严爵唱出了那份，

爱情里每个人都应该有的纯真和羞涩。

爱情，

本来就应该是这种感觉。

很简单，

很舒服，

不需要解释，

不需要装饰，

没有包袱，

没有理由，

只要两个人相爱，

那份爱，

可以胜过所有的一切，

就算是放在心里不说出来，

也可以甜很久很久 =)

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

You are the best daddy in the world!

Thank you and I LOVE YOU!  =D

Finally =P

Finally, won a pair of passes to MTV World Stage Live in Malaysia 2012,  LIKE A BOSS.